I feel like this word is abused by people. How does one really deserve something? We deserve good things and bad things.
When I was given my first role recently, several people congratulated me and told me I deserved it. I, however, did not feel that I deserved it. I had not prepared my audition very well and wasn't even sure if I really did want a role. I was using the audition as a way to practice performing before my recital. If this is something that I didn't work towards and didn't even want, how did I deserve it?
Is happiness even something that we all deserve? I would be the first one to say that everyone deserves happiness, no matter who they are, because I believe that no one is truly evil, just confused. But if all we've done to deserve happiness is to be born, do we really deserve it?
Maybe 'deserving' is somewhere between 'having a right to' and 'being worthy of'. We all have a right to happiness, but we don't have a right to getting a role. Whether we are all worthy of happiness is something that people may debate, but if you've worked hard enough you could be worthy of getting a role.
I can say that I have a right to happiness, but on a day when I'm contrite and wrapped up in myself I might have trouble admitting I deserve happiness.
Perhaps, to me, the word 'deserve' connotes the idea of hard-work that merits a reward, but maybe to some it connotes the idea that everyone has a right to happiness.
Another example to this would be when people say that you deserve another chocolate biscuit. I would immediately think that I didn't deserve it unless I had done something like wash the dishes, with that reward in mind. I may not deserve another chocolate biscuit if I haven't been to the gym that day. This may be a bad example, because I always think everyone has the right to another chocolate biscuit.
Is it unhealthy to think this way? It doesn't mean that I don't think I deserve some things. I deserve the mark on that I essay I just got back. I worked hard with that grade in mind. I earned it.
So no, I'm not unhealthily hard on the world, because I do believe everyone has the right to happiness and love and chocolate biscuits, but whether you deserve it, depends.
